The POWER of relationships in the workplace

Your boss is not always the one who controls your destiny at work! Often, decisions are influenced by other groups of people. These groups are your boss’s colleagues and your own colleagues. What decisions am I referring to? Anything, from the promotion you want to the funding of a project you created. Yes, your boss does hold the key. But, the likelihood of the key being used is greatly influenced by these two groups.

Are you surprised?—never underestimate the power of working relationships in the work place.

It is important to build a relationship with your boss but it is critical, when looking to move up the proverbial corporate ladder that you spend time building relationships with groups of people who you may not, at least initially, think have any deciding factor in your career. Being liked and highly regarded among other teams and departments will increase your chances of being promoted or influencing the outcome of a decision.

Why? because people like to support and promote people they feel good about – someone they can feel is like them.

Let’s face it, it is not an easy task because building relationships is one of the most difficult things you can do.

Why? -- Primarily because different moods and different personalities are stuffed into one office. And then we are forced to, as Larry the cable guy would say “Git- R- done!”. People are hired for their individual talents, not their ability to share these talents. And rarely, do we every have the opportunity to hand pick those with whom we work, so we are left to make the best of difficult situations.

Here are three ways that you can increase the likelihood of succeeding in building relationships at work:

· Shut your mouth- That is until the right time. It is human nature, we all want to be heard, and we all think our ideas are the best. They very well may be, but when you speak over other people your brilliant idea gets lost in the chaos and increases tension. We can not effectively hear two people at the same time. If you are speaking while someone else is talking you might be missing pertinent information that would make your idea even better. I see it every day, people get cut off by a boss or someone who thinks they know what is about to be said, this is followed by a few minuets of banter back and forth which winds up with and no one really knowing what was said because no one was actually listening. Try this, be quiet until all that banter is done, and then come in and calmly voice your idea pulling from what other people have said. This way your idea is considered brilliant because you were able to incorporate their ideas (which they considered brilliant so they feel respected and admire your good judgment), and you clear calm voice was heard because you waited until the right moment.
If you decided that voicing your idea in the boardroom is not a good idea, take it behind closed doors, where the key person will have all eyes and ears on you. You don’t have to be loud to be heard.

· Soup, Sandwich and Relationship – One of the best ways to get what you want is through building relationships, and at work the best time to get to know people is by “doing lunch”. So how does this work? When you go out make sure to develop a real interest in the other person, ask them all sorts of questions about things outside of work. Let them do most of the talking, the more the other person talks the more important they feel. William James said: “the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” People are more likely to go out of their way for you if you make them feel important and appreciated. Not only that but, you would be surprised how much people will tell you when they are relaxed. P.S. don’t wait until they ask you to go to lunch, you take the first step. This will help make them feel important from the start.

· Give it away for free – Well now that you have gone out to lunch and learned all about your boss, co-worker or whoever, the next thing is to act on it. Now that you know they have kids who love Elmo, the next time you see something (within you budget of course) pick it up for them. The idea is to, make a deposit into their life, and show that you don’t just want things from them but you are willing to give. The gift can be something as small as a pack of gum or a 6-pack of Diet Coke, anything that they like and use on a daily basis. You can pick that up if they are always asking for a piece of Gum or are always drinking a specific drink.
For me it would be my very own small nail clipper, I always need one but never have one with me so I scrounge around the office to find someone willing to share theirs – that would be the perfect “I thought of you gift”. So you see it does not have to be much, just thoughtful.

In summary, succeeding at work is not always easy, and there will be plenty of times when you will have to stretch yourself to be the bigger person, but it is all worth it in the end. I challenge you to always let people know you are thinking about them and that you actually listen. Your work life will become much easier and more successful.