Why do people make such a big deal when the job they applied for was given to the boss’ friend? – of course his friend got he job, the contract or the recognition. You would have gotten it also if YOU were the boss’ friend. Whether you like it or not – relationships make the world go around. The better your relationships are the faster you will “climb the corporate ladder”, sell your products, or if you’re like me, get contracts to speak or consult. Yet building strong relationships seems like something of the past. We get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and find that e-mails and text messages are easier to send. Whatever happened to the five minute phone call just to see how someone is doing? It is a rare thing these days.
Here are three ways you can start maximizing your network:
1) For Better or Worse- have you ever dealt with someone that crosses people off their list after one mishap? I have, and I used to be one of them. Dealing with people like that is like walking on eggshells. You never feel comfortable enough to say what’s on your mind for fear of being crossed off the list. To build solid relationships, your friends/co-workers need to know that you will be there for them through the good times and the bad times. This will help them develop trust in you so they will be willing to go out on a limb for you when you need it. We all have bad days and get frustrated at times. But, have you noticed that your bond is stronger with people after you have had an argument and worked through it, than with those you haven’t? I was sitting in a Toastmasters training when the District Governor stood up and said “ I appreciate my team for all their hard work. We did not always get along but it was in those times that we grew together and learned from each other”. As profound as that was, one of my girlfriends leaned over to me and whispered “We must grow a lot.” -- we both laughed. Her name is Regina and even though we don’t always see eye to eye we always seem to be there for each other, I know I can count on her – for better or worse.
2)Once a Day – no, not the multi vitamin…once a day be in contact with someone in your network, just to talk about what is going on in their lives. NO text messaging – pick up the phone! There is a something so impersonal about a text message. Can you really share your excitement and everything that has been going on in your life in a text? It always blows my mind when people text me and say: hey hvnt tlkd in a whle hows evrythin? – It makes me wonder if they really care because if they did wouldn’t they have picked up the phone and dedicated some time to really listen? Once a day let someone one know that you were thinking about them and wanted to hear how their day is going. One of the biggest misconceptions is that you must be in constant contact with someone to have meaningful relationship. I have found that is not, I repeat not, true as long as when you do talk, you talk about real issues.
3) No Strings Attached-do things for people in your network that have no immediate benefit to you. After you have spent time listening to what is going on in their life. Show that you really listened by sending them a relevant article or asking about it again at another time. This seems simple but not enough people do it. This shows you care enough to remember them, which also always helps build a meaningful relationship.
Don’t let anyone fool you into believing that relationships are not what make the world go around.
One quick story… I met with an Insurance agent last night; I can almost guarantee has convinced me to make a purchase with him. Here is why. He thought I was pretty smart – smart of him! He also remembered aspects from our very first conversation (2months prior) and he showed a genuine interest in my life plans. Although he was there to sell me something, and he was using good sales techniques, I did like the feeling that I was talking to someone who had my best interest at heart. Not only that, but when I couldn’t get my parking validated, he pulled money out of his pocket to pay – he did not HAVE to do that. Okay, it was a business expense but a really nice gesture! Trust me when I say he is exceptional, I have been to other meetings like this and…yeah, you know my point. Making people feel important goes a long way towards making you important to them!
Start today and build your relationships with people in your network of people and notice how situations change in your life and doors start opening.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
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